Remembering Infinity

Spirituality | Metaphysics | Consciousness | Life

Remembering Infinity: “Let It Begin With Me…”

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Let there be Peace on Earth.

        Let there be Peace on Earth.

Ever since I was young, I’ve always felt that I was somehow a little different from others my age. I was shy and withdrawn growing up, never quite fitting in with others—and I still have a tendency to be that way, even some decades later as an adult.

By all outward appearances, I was a typical tow-headed, spindly-legged kid. What made me stand out the most however, were the rather obvious facts that my mom cut my hair herself and that I was dressed quite a bit differently than anyone else. While most kids my age were sporting t-shirts, jeans, and sneakers, I had to wear more conservative button-down shirts, slacks, and leather dress shoes with brass buckles. Unfortunately, these differences and my quiet nature seemed to make me the perfect target for bullies.

Since both my parents needed to work to make ends meet, I grew up  as a “latch-key kid” in a working-class neighborhood in San Francisco.  Often left to manage on my own, I’d walk the several blocks to and from our 1920’s brick apartment building to school.  Most afternoons after school let out, I’d let myself into our empty apartment using a key my parents had hidden near the back kitchen stairs. Unfortunately, my daily travels took me past a smaller stucco duplex where a classmate named “Raymond” lived. Raymond and I had been friends in kindergarten, but somehow the passage of the next grade or two found us bitter enemies. As the result of some undoubtedly childish disagreement—the details of which completely escape me now, Raymond apparently made it his personal mission to taunt and threaten me any time he could. Most days, I would try to avoid crossing paths with him by racing out of school as quickly as I could or by unpredictably changing my route home.

Sometimes however, these efforts didn’t work—and on those days, Raymond and his friends would follow me home from school, shouting insults and even throwing things at me the entire way. Then, when I was almost home, they would quickly surround me like a pack of snarling wolves. Raymond, who was a full head shorter than me, had small scars on his face from previous altercations with others. He’d ball up his fists and glare contemptuously at me. “Come on, pussy!” He’d shout angrily. “Come on…do something! Fight me! You know you want to!”

Rumors around school were that Raymond and his friends carried pocket knives, so I had no desire whatsoever to be involved with any of them. And, truth be told, I was terrified. Most of the time, they would simply knock my textbooks out of my hands and laugh as they walked away. Sometimes they would push me down and jostle each other roughly as I picked myself and my books up and ran home in tears. And, if things weren’t bad enough, it was even more humiliating when there were other kids (especially girls) around.

I couldn’t understand what I had done to deserve the kind of treatment I received and, to make matters even worse, my own household wasn’t immune to discord either. I remember many nights, lying in my closet-like bedroom with my hands over my ears, crying myself to sleep because my parents were screaming at each other on the other side of our thin apartment walls.

In the end, my parents’ temporary “cease-fire” and the city’s new policies on mandatory interschool busing (where troubled kids were sent to different schools in an effort to curb school violence) forced my parents to move. They bought a comfortable home in the suburbs, where things were much better. I still had trouble fitting in as “the new kid”, but at least the kids in my new school were a bit more tolerant of those who were different—that and the fact that I’d finally had enough of being a victim. When I finally began standing up for myself, the few bruises and black eyes I received thereafter were but a small price to pay for the peace I eventually found in knowing I that would be left alone.

In recent years as I’ve looked back on these experiences, I’ve come to understand and see things a bit differently. One of the things I now recall was that Raymond had come from a troubled home himself. With an abusive father and older brother, he had learned to fight—not just for survival, but for his own self-esteem. And, in being bullied himself, he had learned to become a bully. Another personal revelation was the discovery that these episodes were important catalysts for my eventual growth. While I would not want to relive them, nor would I wish these kinds of situations upon anyone else, I’m nonetheless grateful for their bitter lessons.

Through these and other new understandings, I’ve been able to find forgiveness for Raymond—and indeed, for all the others who seemed to find pleasure in my pain. And I take great satisfaction in knowing that I’ve done everything I can to stop the ripples of conflict, hatred, and retribution that such violence often perpetuates. I’m quite thankful that I’ve been able to let these kinds of behavior stop with me.

It struck me as being rather strange, but as I was writing the last few lines of this post I suddenly remembered a song I learned for a holiday performance in the 4th or 5th grade. The song, written by Jill Jackson Miller and Sy Miller and popular in the early 1970’s, was called, “Let There Be Peace on Earth”. It begins and ends with the words, “Let there be Peace on Earth, and let it begin with me.” These are important words, for if we were all to live them, no more children would have to run home in fear—and no more mothers or fathers would have to bury a child killed in violence or war.

So why don’t we all agree to take a stand for Peace? Right now—and in every new moment, let it begin with us.

With Love,

stargazericon

Note:

I had an unusual dream last night and, while I hadn’t intended to publish this for a week or two, something about the dream prompted me to post it today instead. In my dream, it seemed as if the world had descended into utter chaos. Parts of the city were burning around me and large numbers of people were fighting one another in the streets. Others, terrified, were fleeing the violence and their homes.

In the midst of all this destruction, one person stopped. He stood in the middle of the street and looked about with tears in his eyes. Quietly at first, but with growing strength and compassion for those around him, he began to sing the words of the song mentioned above. Soon, his powerful voice was carried with the wind—and others, touched and inspired by his courage, stopped to join him. The wave of emotion from their heartfelt song drifted through the urban canyons, soared to the heavens, and gently touched the hearts of all could hear.

And then, something wonderful happened.

Those engaged in violent struggle stopped. They dropped their weapons and fists, suddenly overcome by feelings of sadness and shame. Those in headlong flight no longer felt afraid, so they stopped running. In that brief moment, everyone finally understood that what they did to another human being, they ultimately did to themselves. In that brief moment, all their hate, anger and fear faded away. And instead of fighting and hurting one another, they began helping one another. They treated each others’ wounds. They shared food, clothing, and shelter. They helped put out fires and began to rebuild.

In my dream, all it took was one small miracle—in the form of one person and a song, to change the world. And things would never quite be the same again.

For those who don’t know the song, a wonderful version sung by Vince Gill may be found here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_DxNpW1kHQ

Please feel free to redistribute, repost, or otherwise share this post, providing it is credited to https://rememberinginfinity.wordpress.com.

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16 thoughts on “Remembering Infinity: “Let It Begin With Me…”

  1. Wow! How beautiful! Your dream and the song! Wow! Also, glad you learned from a painful experience and forgave. How powerful!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Noticed 2 typos: one when I was a young, delete a or add boy/lad/etc after young. The other typo is in the middle.

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you for being willing to be vulnerable and share this. I’m so sorry you went through those experiences and also had to be dressed that way. I can imagine how that set you a part. Truth though is that it doesn’t take anything at all to set children apart and they seem to find any excuse to use to taunt another child.

    In fifth grade, our class took IQ tests and the whole school was buzzing about mine. I also was in a classroom with a teacher who had A-F rows and we’d switch seats each week depending upon our math scores. All our subjects were so easy for me so I was always the first in the A row. It was awful, awful for me, awful for all the kids. Then all the class turned against me and had a club with a secret language, the clubs sole purpose was to turn me away and reject me. I went home crying everyday. I talked to the principal and my parents and no one stopped it.

    I can see, like you, that between the teachers and the parents, they were pushing their kids to achieve, and so they took it out on me.

    Between being so connected to spirits and other dimensions and past lives as a child, being severely ill, having a very tense home space as well, and this experience letting me know it wasn’t safe to be smart or be me, it took many years to heal all of that.

    I love your powerful dream and long for the day when all beings know they are loved, lovable, safe, honored, respected and taken care of, so they in turn are led to treat others that way as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Wonderful post Stargazer
    And many thanks for sharing those early years which often burn brightest within our memory.. I too have found many who bully do so because of how their own lives knew no better.. Would that we could walk in another’s shoes, for not all is as it may at first seem.

    I can sympathise with your tears as it seemed you were caught between worlds of conflict both with students from school and the arguments between your parents.. I know of those times of hand over ears with tears.

    Your dream so clearly tells us, that no matter what turmoil is surrounding us, that it all begins from within, and if we all hold that ‘Song’ of love in our hearts, it all begins with ‘Me’ and ‘You’
    All it takes to start that ripple effect of Love and compassion to bring Unity and Harmony is one pebble thrown into the Pond of our Collective Consciousness.
    And I think dear Stargazer we are starting to create Ripples..

    Many thanks for sharing.
    Sue 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I didn’t notice the typos at all, because I was so engrossed in your powerful story! And the dream…. So beautiful and full of hope! My son was bullied in elementary school because he was different. Some kids can just feel the difference. When he was in 7th grade, he got suspended for fighting. He was tired of putting up with it. We took him to a counselor who asked us to think about what would happen if he never fought back. It was a revelation. He was only defending himself. He was then, and is now, a kind and loving person by nature. Thank you for sharing your story and your dream of peace.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thanks SG..It always amazes me how our memories always seem to come full circle, be it remembrances such as yours in relation to today or old sayings our Grandparents or mentors used that apply so aptly to today…We are one big circle and should always remember it will eventually come back to us before it starts again. Glad you shared that. I am finding as I write non fiction stories these days for writing contests I am revealing a great deal about myself and this time with no shame. I believe it is all part of the shedding process in our evolution…I think it lightens our load 🙂 Blessings…VK

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for the kind words of encouragement, VK! I absolutely agree…and I too believe that this is one of the main reasons we’re all here in this beautiful moment. We’re here to heal our own and Humanity’s past. It is only through healing the past that we can “break the chains” that bind us to it.

      One of the most wise ideas out there is that, “those who do not learn from history are condemned to repeat it.” If we can finally, first as individuals and then as a collective, break the cycles of violence, fear, and greed, we will no longer have to keep experiencing them! That’s what this shift is all about, IMHO.

      Many of us are quickly clearing out and moving beyond all that “old energy”. The world, as a collective consciousness, isn’t far behind. One old wound, one old idea at a time, we’re lifting the energy of the planet to heights not experienced before…and it’s BEAUTIFUL.

      This is only the start. What an adventure, isn’t it?

      With Love (and many Thanks),

      Stargazer

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Beautiful!

    Liked by 1 person

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