Remembering Infinity: Working Through the Hurt

In those dark moments when you may feel abandoned and unloved, remember that you are loved!

Of all the difficult emotions we experience in life, one of the ones I seem to deal with the most has been the feeling of rejection and hurt. As a child, I recall the sting I felt when I’d done something wrong and received a spanking as punishment—and the worst pain I felt wasn’t to my backside. It was more what I seemed to feel in my heart. Many times I didn’t fully understand what I’d done wrong and, at once, I felt hurt, saddened, and unloved. I’d cry, run to my room, then pout and stomp around for awhile—usually until I became distracted by something else and eventually forgot I was upset.

I’m sure we’ve all experienced similar feelings, in varying degrees, at one time or another. At older ages, we experience many of these same feelings too—perhaps when we’ve been turned down for a date, passed over for a promotion or job, or when we feel neglected or betrayed by our partner or spouse. In some of the more extreme cases, it may feel as if someone has “kicked us in the gut” or even “ripped out our heart”, but most often the circumstances simply leave a dull, hollow ache that seems to sit like a dense, heavy weight in the center of one’s chest.

Whenever we feel resentment or hurt, it’s quite easy to surrender to the accompanying anger and frustration. If we’re unable to deal with these overwhelming emotions in a positive way, we may lash out blindly or allow ourselves to spiral into despair. Sometimes, when we try to express ourselves and the way we feel, especially when we’re older, others expect us to hide our feelings or “just get over it”. Unfortunately, if we just ignore these emotions—especially if we keep experiencing many of the same hurts over and over, the stress we feel just seems to accumulate and become worse over time.

In recent years, I’ve found that, as I work through these challenging episodes, their impact seems less and the process of healing gradually becomes easier. While this process may not be the same for everyone, I’ve found the following steps to be generally quite helpful.

First, as soon as I begin to feel the “heat” of intense emotions rising, I make every effort to stay as calm and detached from them as possible. I try to imagine myself as a boat on the open sea, allowing the waves of adrenaline and distress to pass beneath me. Then I close my eyes and take several deep breaths as I envision the waves slowly dissipating. I consciously relax my body and mentally “let go” of any intensely charged emotions. These first brief moments often provide me with the space I need to remain calm and respond to the situation in a more balanced way. They also help to ensure that I don’t over-react and make things even worse.

Second, I try to take a moment to process things. If the situation is particularly stressful, I may separate myself entirely for a few minutes. I may go to a quiet room and sit down or take a brief walk to connect with nature. In either case, this brief period of separation allows me time to collect myself and gather my thoughts.

Next, I begin the healing process. If I’m feeling unloved and empty inside, it helps to close my eyes and try to feel love for myself. I envision the dark, empty space in my heart being filled with the golden Light of Universal Love, flowing and swirling in endlessly from Source. Sometimes I imagine my Higher Self as a being of pure, Divine Light, wrapping its arms around me in a warm, loving hug. If I’ve been rejected and have feelings of love that I’m somehow unable to otherwise express to someone else, I share that love with my Higher Self instead. This usually helps me to feel much better—for I know that I don’t need someone else’s love to heal me. I can always find the Love I need inside myself.

Once I’ve taken steps to settle down, I make every effort to face and address my emotions and the situation head-on. It helps to know that I don’t have to take on the challenge alone—for I may always seek guidance and support from family, friends, or other trusted sources.  I try to look at the situation as an important lesson in living and accept it—just as it is. I know I don’t have to dwell on it if I choose not to, and I decide how much attention and energy I’ll devote to reacting to or resolving it. Once I make that decision, I take whatever actions I feel are necessary to work things through. If I find that some things are beyond my control and I can’t fully resolve them, I simply do the best I can. Once I release any attachment to a specific outcome, I mentally “let go” of any remaining emotional stress (for more on that process, please see my post “Spirit Anchors”).  This allows me to move on confidently in the knowledge that I’ve done my very best.

Finally, I’ve found that, in many cases, it helps to just “sleep on it”. A good night’s rest often helps me put things in perspective and allows me to find fresh, new ways to approach challenges that I might have otherwise overlooked.  I also find that it’s much easier for me to find forgiveness—not only for others, but myself, in the dawn of a new day.

So if you’re ever feeling abandoned, empty, or unloved as I sometimes do, consider trying some of these ways to work things through.  And always remember that someone does love you unconditionally. God loves you—and I most certainly do too!

Respectfully,

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Remembering Infinity: Our “Miracle Machines”

Just think of all the wonderful things we’re able to experience–simply because of our human bodies!

One of the things I’ve been giving a great deal of thought lately is the relationship that we humans have with our physical bodies. It has taken me quite a while to understand and accept it, but I’ve slowly come to the conclusion that I am not my body. Now I realize this may seem to be a strange concept to some—and I understand their skepticism, for I was once a bit doubtful myself.

What I suppose I should say is that we are not the body itself—rather, we are the conscious awareness that temporarily resides in it. OK, I guess that’s probably as clear as mud. First, let me define “conscious awareness” as being the part of you that recognizes itself as you. The part that sits here reading this and thinks, “Hey, he must be talking about me!” That conscious awareness is not your body, but the energetic spirit (some may refer to this as the “soul”) that lives within and animates it. This part of you does not depend upon the physical body to exist, it merely uses the physical body as a vehicle to experience the physical world.

My favorite analogy for this concept is that we are not like a car, we are more like the driver who drives the car. Just as a driver will do with an old car, when our physical body dies, we simply get out and move on. That is, the part of us that we recognize as “us” takes on new form (spirit form, if you will) and may even, as I’m coming more and more to believe, eventually acquire a new body through the reincarnation process. So if this really is true, then the next time around I’d really appreciate having a high-end luxury model—one with all the options. I’ve had quite enough of this base-model “clunker” I’m currently commuting in, thank you!

But seriously, I’ve come to realize it’s exactly that kind of thinking and attitude that may be one of our greatest problems. As human beings, we don’t often recognize these bodily vehicles as the “miracle machines” they truly are. Think of all the fantastic things we can do with them! We can crawl, walk, run, climb, or swim to any of so many delightful places on our wonderful planet, Earth. We can appreciate the spectacular color of a sunset, the warm touch of a loved one’s hand in ours, the good night whisper of a small child, the sweet tartness of a fresh-picked berry, or the delicate fragrance of a blushing rose. We can feel the tug of emotions that seem to reach far beyond the physical—the ones that touch the very depths of our souls. We may experience these when we witness the passing of a loved one or a dear friend, the thrill of a child’s first awkward steps, or the pain of someone who is suffering. Such profound emotions also spring forth with love’s first kiss or when we’ve been stirred by an especially powerful piece of music. Our ability to experience these things—and so many more, is only possible because of the wonderfully worn, relatively mobile, and faithful collection of cells and tissues that we call our bodies.

It’s a shame that so many of us don’t well appreciate this most physical aspect of ourselves. Oh, sure, we feed them, bathe them, rest them, and at times “primp” them, but we don’t often love them the way we should. In fact, far too many of us (and I’m certainly guilty of this as well) treat them as an abusive parent might treat a child. Sometimes we may look at them in the mirror and wish they were taller, thinner, stronger, or less wrinkled. We may grumble about our aches and pains or curse our receding hairlines and expanding waistlines as we grow older.  If someone were to tell you such things frequently (and that’s what many of us do to our bodies every day), how would you feel? Well, that’s exactly how our bodies must feel too! They know what we really think of them—and yet they love us unconditionally anyway. They’ve been with us since before our hearts made their first beats and before we took our first breaths. They’ve been with us through childhood, our teens, and our journey into adulthood. They’ve accompanied us through all our trials, tribulations, and triumphs.  They’ll even be with us when we take our last breaths. And when our soul essence finally leaves them behind, they’ll slowly return to the dust from whence they came. Doesn’t that kind of service and loyalty deserve some respect, care, and even love?

I should think so. As a result of my “awakening”, I’m now much more aware of the physical aspect of my being. I’m working harder to recognize the beauty, health, and efficiency of all the cells, parts, and systems of my body for the amazing wonders that they are. I think positive thoughts about my body, bless it, and thank it for its selfless service. Now, when I experience an ache or a pain, I try to understand what it may be trying to tell me and learn from that experience. In several of her books, Dolores Cannon mentions the importance of simply talking to our bodies in a positive way, each and every day. Taking care of them, acknowledging them for what they truly do for us, fully appreciating them, and loving them is the least we can do to ensure their—and indeed, our continued good health and well-being.

And truly loving this most physical aspect of yourself is just one more way you may show your appreciation for one of the most elegantly complex, wonderful things that makes up our Universe—you!

Respectfully,

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Remembering Infinity: Energetic Universe

Energy isn’t just abundant in the Universe—there’s an infinite supply. In fact, everything is a form of energy! Photo Credit: National Weather Service

Sometimes it’s difficult to maintain a positive attitude—especially when things, from our limited perspective, don’t seem to be going our way. The steady bombardment of negative images and messages we receive, as well as endless demands for our time and attention, often leave us feeling tired, frustrated, and empty.

To make matters worse, we are sometimes reminded that stressors not only drain our energy when we are aware of them, they also drain us subconsciously—even when we are not actively engaged with or thinking about them! I suppose it’s a bit like those background systems that continue to draw electricity—even after we think we’ve turned off our computers and appliances. How then, is it possible to preserve our personal and “spiritual” energy? After all, we can’t just “unplug” ourselves from life and hope for the best—or can we? Believe it or not, in a way, we can.

Because our bodies depend upon us as much as we depend upon them, we should always make certain we are properly addressing our most basic physical needs first. Naturally, this requires that we receive adequate rest, sleep, and exercise. Of course, we should also take proper steps to maintain a healthy diet, seek appropriate medical care when it is needed, and properly manage our stress.

Where “spiritual” energy is concerned however, I’ve found it necessary to make some slight adjustments in my way of thinking. The first was to understand that the energy I always thought of as “mine” really isn’t. It all belongs to—and comes from, the “Universe”. I just borrow some of it for a short time and focus it on the things that are important to me. Once I accepted that concept, I quickly began to appreciate the fact that energy isn’t just abundant in the universe, it’s everywhere. This is because everything, at its most basic, quantum level, is made from energy—even our own human bodies. Clearly, I realized, there must be an infinite supply of it! To make the best use of this endless supply, we simply need to understand that we are only limited by our own thoughts and actions.

As I thought about this universal energy and how we use it, I also considered the fact that nature seeks balance in all things. Whenever something moves (take air or water for example), something always flows in to take its place. This is true for energetic processes as well. Therefore, as a person focuses his or her attention on something, an energetic flow begins to travel through them, from the infinite, universal supply. As this energy moves, new energy immediately flows in to replace it. There’s no need for anyone to concern themselves with altering, stopping, or adding to the flow just because they feel it may be “too little” or “too much”. They need only focus their attention, do what they feel is necessary in the moment, and let go—trusting that Universe will take over from there and resolve things in its own perfect way. It occurred to me that this may be one of the easiest ways to “unplug” ourselves—we simply do our best, detach ourselves from any expected outcome and let the Universe do all the “heavy lifting”.

With this in mind, I’ve chosen to embrace this process as my preferred method of spiritual “energy management”. I now think of it as a team effort, wherein I do what I feel guided to do, then I simply let go and let the Universe do the rest. With such a powerful, co-creative process at work, how could one not move forward with an expanding sense of grace, confidence, and ease?

Respectfully,

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Remembering Infinity: Balance

“Happiness is not a matter of intensity, but of balance, order, rhythm, and harmony.” Thomas Merton

Science has shown that, for a variety of reasons, the humble triangle is the strongest and most stable geometric shape of all. The equilateral triangle in particular (a triangle with all sides and angles being equal) represents perfect balance between all the elements of its shape. The spiritual version of a triangle, a “Trinity,” typically represents the harmonious union of two different aspects of self to create a third.

The true beauty of this wonderful arrangement becomes evident only when we consider the relationship of these elements and what is formed as a result. Take the two “polar” opposites of hot and cold, for example. As long as they are taken separately there is only duality—two diametrically opposed extremes on either end of a scale. Once they are brought together however, they temper and balance each another to form a third, new aspect—in this case, “warm”. The previously straight, flat line that kept us trapped between two opposing choices suddenly has depth—and a new, dynamic flow between all the elements becomes possible. Most would agree that in the new choice of temperatures, this new possibility is a highly desirable one—for without it we couldn’t enjoy warm blankets on a cold day, warm, sandy tropical beaches, or soft, warm cookies, fresh from the oven.

If we look carefully at the unspoiled grace and beauty of Nature, this “Trinity” concept of creative balance is demonstrated in countless ways. Between dark and light there is shadow. Positively- and negatively-charged particles interact to become neutral. In the blustery posturing of wind and weather, high- and low-pressure systems find their balance in calm. Throughout nature, the male and female of each species join to create new life—life that reflects the characteristics of both in equal measure.

Even our modern human world is rife with examples of duality and polarity—and within each dichotomy there exist a multitude of other possibilities and choices. Many would see these as problems to solve or challenges to overcome, but I prefer to think of these as opportunities—opportunities for learning and growth. In the rifts that exist between countries, philosophies, religions, sports factions, and even families, common ground and a potential solution may always be found. One has only to recognize them.

Perhaps the magic of the “Trinity” may be applied to our lives—and indeed, to our interactions with those around us. Is the simple process of finding this balance the key to our discovery of peace and happiness—both within and without? Consider this—between the “selfishness” of ego and our selfless desire to help others there must be a point of equilibrium where all aspects of self are served equally well. If we are able to find this perfect point of balance within ourselves, our families, and our world, how could this not serve to make all our life experiences better?

Thomas Merton, a Trappist monk and author once wrote, “Happiness is not a matter of intensity, but of balance, order, rhythm, and harmony.”   Therefore, it is only through an appreciation of all aspects of something that we broaden our perspective and find greater symmetry. We also gain a much greater understanding of the “bigger picture” of life.

If we are to experience the Dance of Life in its fullest we must ever be mindful, not just of the music, the steps, or the partners—but the overall movement, flow, and emotion of all its elements together. It is only by appreciating them all, in perfect balance, as one, that our souls may truly find their greatest fulfillment and joy.

Respectfully,

 

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